The Anti-12 Steps of Marijuana Anonymous
1. I declared that I have total control over my pot use and that I can completely manage my life and still get high.
(We admitted we were powerless over marijuana, that our lives had become unmanageable.)
2. Came to know that I need no one and that pot helps me maintain my happiness and sanity.
(Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.)
3. Made a decision to harness the benefits (as I understand them) of pot and anything pot related.
(Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.)
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of all others.
(Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.)
5. Admitted to no one, including myself, any of my wrongs, no matter how evident.
(Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.)
6. I became entirely ready to defend, excuse, and justify my actions and smoking, using personal attacks on others (if necessary), and to minimize any mistake I make.
(Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.)
7. Boldly declare that I have no shortcomings (while secretly believing that anything bad I ever did could not be forgiven).
(Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.)
8. Made a list of all persons that had (or that I thought had) harmed me and searched for opportunities to collect on those debts.
(Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.)
9. Collected whatever I felt that I was owed whenever possible, regardless of the fact that doing so may cause injury or harm to someone else.
(Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.)
10. Continued to take an inventory of others’ wrongs against me and promptly collected on them when possible.
(Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.)
11. Sought through experimentation, expert opinions, partying, and the advice of my using friends, a better, stronger, and longer high. I search only for more knowledge of how and what strain to use, and the means to do so without consequences.
(Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.)
12. Having an enjoyable experience from the use of pot, I tried to carry this message to other suffering sober people to lead them to practice these principles in all their affairs with me.
(Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to marijuana addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.)