Co-Dependents Anonymous

The Anti-Twelve Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous

1. I declared that I have control over what happens to others in my life and that I can manage my life and still manage things for them as well.

(We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.)


2. Came to know that I need no one else and that "caring" and influencing other's lives will help me maintain my happiness and sanity.

(Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.)


3. Made a decision to harness the benefits (as I understand them) of the actions I think others need from me.

(Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood God.)


4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of all others.

(Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.)


5. Admit to no one, including myself, any of my wrongs, or the wrongs of those close to me, no matter how evident.

(Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.)


6. I became entirely ready to defend, excuse, and justify my actions, using personal attacks on others (if necessary), and to minimize any mistake I make or think others need protection with or from.

(Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.)


7. Boldly minimize or excuse any shortcomings (while secretly believing that anything bad I ever did could not be forgiven).

(Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.)


8. Made a list of all persons that had (or that I thought had) harmed me or those I protect and searched for opportunities to collect on those debts.

(Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.)


9. Collected whatever I felt that I was owed whenever possible, regardless of the fact that doing so may cause injury or harm to someone else.

(Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.)


10. Continued to take an inventory of others’ wrongs against me and the people I look out for and promptly collected on them when possible.

(Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.)


11.Sought through experimentation, expert opinions, bonding, and the advice of my supportive friends, a better way to stay together and keep things comfortable. I search only for more knowledge of how to prevent unwanted changes, and the means to do so without consequences.

(Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, 

praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.)


12. Having an enjoyable experience from doing what I think is best for those I choose, I tried to carry this message to other suffering persons who need to stay with their codependents, and to lead them to practice these principles in all their affairs with me. 

(Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other codependents, and to 

practice these principles in all our affairs.)